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The Alphabet of Manliness | Paperback

Released on 30 June 2006

Author: Maddox | Format: Paperback

5.0 out of 5 (1 customer review) | Write a review

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Sold by: highlandbooks2012

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This book features completely original humour from the creator of "The Best Page in the Universe". In this book, legendary online humorist Maddox transfers his world-famous flair for acerbic observation to the printed page. Maddox, creator of the legendary "I Am Better Than Your Kids" feature - which circled the globe as an email humour favourite, makes his non-electronic debut with the hilarious "Alphabet of Manliness". Containing reams of brand new material not covered on the site, "The Alphabet of Manliness" is bigger, bolder and more outrageously provocative than any of the low-cal stuff purveyed by other webby misanthropes, and it comes from the number one ranked blog spot on the net. It includes rants on anything and everything from the most sarcastic mind on the planet, real or virtual. That said, we'll leave it up to Maddox to describe it in his own inimitable style:
"This is the only sentence in the entire book that will give you a chance to adjust your face; take your time, because it's about to be rocked off - permanently.

Finally, a book that guarantees your balls will be stomped; a book so manly that it will make even the burliest of men (and in some cases, the burliest of women) feel inadequate. So manly, it needs to be shaved: The Alphabet of Manliness. This collection of sacred writings may very well be the greatest compilation of all things manly throughout history. Here's a small sample of the ass-kickery found within these revered pages of outright manliness:
People getting drop-kicked in the face
Phallic aggression
Violence in excess of what has come to be known as excessive
Garish disregard for the well-being of children
Contempt for animals, women, and other cultures
Shit jokes
Intimidating rhetoric
Obscure penile references
Tit punching
The triumph of flannel over good taste.
This book is only for the saltiest, hairiest, most rugged son of a bitch out there. However, it would be selfish to keep it for myself, so feel free to buy a copy. This humble tome of wisdom is a tribute to all men who toil away at work every day, getting their balls busted, or busting balls.
If you can't handle the punch to the colon I'm about to deliver to you, look on the bright side: you'll save a fortune on Halloween when kids come to your door to pick apart your candy ass. On the other hand, if you feel comfortable with the risk of having your ass neatly packaged and handed to you with all the trimmings, cut the foreplay and crack the book open already."

customer Reviews

 Average rating (1 review)

 The perfect birthday present for any man

| | See all BobMarley69er's reviews (1)

Lock up your daughters, Maddox has written a book. George Ouzounian, the internet sensation behind the best page in the universe (the name of the site no less) has finally dragged his hairy knuckles across a keyboard to provide us with a new york bestsellers topping book dedicated to what really makes men manly.

The book (or is that life manual) is subdivided into 26 chapters from A for 'Ass-kicking' to Z for 'Zombies' telling every real, self respecting, chauvanistic man the rules they need to abide by to avoid letting the side down.

So embark on a magic adventure from S for 'Sneaking a peek' to V for 'Violence' and F for 'Female wrestling' and come out on the other end as a less respectable but much better man...

If all of this still doesn't get your blood boiling and your skin itching for this book then maybe this quote from Maddox's mother might:

"I didn't raise you like this. Why are you like this? Your father's not like this either. This is terrible!"

It really is that good :0)

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PublisherPenguin Books Ltd (United Kingdom)
FormatPaperback - 224 Pages