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Conan The Barbarian (2011)

Featuring: Ron Perlman, Rose McGowan & Rachel Nichols

Format: DVD | Rating: 15 years & over

    (8 customer reviews)  |  Write a review

Customer Reviews

"Average rating (8 reviews)"

Results 1-10 of 10

  Conan the Barbarian - Awful

| | See all filmcritic1952's reviews (35)

This is no more than a TV film and a bad one at that, it is so weak, no pun intended, the acting, the script, photography it is all very poor. To sum up In two words "DON'T BOTHER"

  What a load of rubbish....

| | See all mattymark's reviews (531)

An amazingly shocking film it's just so bad, overkill on the fake blood and the poor effects. The story isn't great the acting well the less said about that the better for all concerned. Honestly you'd have more fun picking your nose for 2 hours. What has annoyed me the most is the fact i have to give it one star so the review can be seen.

  beats arnies effort

| | See all atthemovies's reviews (112)

this film isnt as bad as the pro critics would tell you, the 80s conan films with arnie schwarzenegger were awful , made for kids. ron e howards books were dark and adult affairs and this comes across in this film. its not perfect, some of the dialogue is iffy but the cast throw themselves into the parts and i dare say a sequel will appear, preferably with another director.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful. Did you?   Yes |  No |  Report abuse

  Not impressesd

| | See all russnutter88's reviews (239)

It started off promising ,Loved the gore and the way people went down when they were hit ( rather than taking punishment without a scratch to show for it ) but from the moment the sand mummies appeared, the ensuing fight ,and more or less everything from then was laughable ( I felt like putting the Scorpion King on instead )

  Not impressesd

| | See all russnutter's reviews (239)

It started off promising ,Loved the gore and the way people went down when they were hit ( rather than taking punishment without a scratch to show for it ) but from the moment the sand mummies appeared, the ensuing fight ,and more or less everything from then was laughable ( I felt like putting the Scorpion King on instead )

  The quest for the not very powerful hat

| | See all themarkyofbath's reviews (57)

If like me you wondered if this was a remake of the old arnie film its not, not even close.

Its terribly dull.

Bad guy slays village including Conan's pa in search of parts to a mysterious all powerful hat (mask). However, after 20 years of slaying and killing said hat's on button can only be activated by the blood of the pure one. Fighting Conan for her it is clear that without said hat this is a powerful baddie (and daughter). Having suceeded to obtain her blood and after the traditional long wait for a long winded ceremony the baddie puts on the hat to be no better off or powerful.

The first ten minutes or so were good, but it gradually got worse and worse. Watch it once if you must, but I'd suggest giving the original a try its far better.

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  Better than expected...

| | See all Hanzler2012's reviews (1)

Having read all the R.E Howard Conan stories several times over this comes closest to what I imagined the Conan world to be like, and Jason Momoa fits the description Howard gave his character more so than Arnie who approximated Marvel comics take on the character. Good effort by Momoa let down a bit by the director and the musical score - the soundtrack to Arnie's version was a modern classic and in fairness would be harder to beat.

Excellent that they went for an adult theme with this movie as a kiddy flick would have been horrid.

I truly hope there is another Conan film with Momoa because with a better director and composer there is a chance of a genre classic - Momoa looks authenic, can act and can fight, bring it on.

  "..CONAN IS BIGGER AND BADDER THAN EVER.."

| | See all sdx800's reviews (1725)

This is everything you want from a top movie blockbuster, action packed and full of fantasy and brilliant effects, if youre a fan of the original Schwarzenegger versions then you should love the new version too, Jason momoa did a great job playing Conan and fit the part well with his massive screen presence, there was a good supporting cast too, Rose McGowan was brilliant as Marique the female villain, at the end of the day its a massive no brainer fun filled action packed bloodbath thats utterly entertaining and a satisfying, definitely worth a watch. Marcus Nispel did a surprisingly good job of directing this after his usual run of horror remakes.

2 of 4 people found this review helpful. Did you?   Yes |  No |  Report abuse

  New Model Arnie!

| | See all SECTION8's reviews (1336)

Those familiar with the 1982 version are unlikely to warm after this run of the mil reboot, it's a pretty dull and desultory affair that'll leave you feeling as cheated as Arnold Schwarzenegger's missus.
Having previously done a good job at the Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Friday The 13th series, and failed to make an impact with his other sword and sandels hack and slash Pathfinder, Director Nispel hardly has the best rep when it comes to resuscitating iron aged moribund franchises.
Quelle surprise, then, that at times he makes a hash of this one, the German director missing not only the camp grandeur of John Milius' original but also the vigour of 300, a film he clearly set out to emulate.
There's no shortage of blood here, the levels of arterial splatter being established early by a forest scrap that ends with the young Conan (Leo Howard) dropping four severed heads at the feet of proud pop Ron Perlman.
Long before the lad has grown up to be Baywatch beefcake Jason Momoa, though, the carnage has become mostley monotonously predictable.To be honest there's only so many ways to run a man through while charging at him on horseback.
Things liven up a little with the introduction of bad guy Khalar Zym (Avatar's Stephen Lang) and his daughter Marique (Rose McGowan), a witch with Krueger-like blades on her pinkies and Elizabeth I's hairline.
Even by genre standards, alas, their crazy quest -to bring Mrs Zym back from Hades with the aid of an old mask and 'Pureblood' Rachel Nichols is a torturous one that, coupled with Conan's plan to avenge Perlman's murder, makes for a plot more swollen than its leading man's pectorals.
Momoa is no Arnie. He's no Rock either. In fact he's nothing much at all: an anonymous, characterless hunk who's outclassed even by the computer-generated sand mummies he's called upon to vanquish.
Conan, we're informed, has "the heart of a lion" and "the loyalty of a bloodhound". They forgot "personality of a tree".
If swords, sorcery, pecs and FX get your bloodlust pumping, there's fleeting fun to be had. But mostly this Conan re-tread puts the bore in Hyboria.
On a plus side it's still far better than Conan The Destroyer and Red Sonja.
See if you like.....
The Mummy Trilogy.
The Scorpion King.
Beast Master.
Masters of the Universe.
Prince of Persia.

3 of 4 people found this review helpful. Did you?   Yes |  No |  Report abuse

  New Model Arnie!

| | See all MovieAddict's reviews (1336)

Those familiar with the 1982 version are unlikely to warm after this run of the mil reboot, it's a pretty dull and desultory affair that'll leave you feeling as cheated as Arnold Schwarzenegger's missus.
Having previously done a good job at the Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Friday The 13th series, and failed to make an impact with his other sword and sandels hack and slash Pathfinder, Director Nispel hardly has the best rep when it comes to resuscitating iron aged moribund franchises.
Quelle surprise, then, that at times he makes a hash of this one, the German director missing not only the camp grandeur of John Milius' original but also the vigour of 300, a film he clearly set out to emulate.
There's no shortage of blood here, the levels of arterial splatter being established early by a forest scrap that ends with the young Conan (Leo Howard) dropping four severed heads at the feet of proud pop Ron Perlman.
Long before the lad has grown up to be Baywatch beefcake Jason Momoa, though, the carnage has become mostley monotonously predictable.To be honest there's only so many ways to run a man through while charging at him on horseback.
Things liven up a little with the introduction of bad guy Khalar Zym (Avatar's Stephen Lang) and his daughter Marique (Rose McGowan), a witch with Krueger-like blades on her pinkies and Elizabeth I's hairline.
Even by genre standards, alas, their crazy quest -to bring Mrs Zym back from Hades with the aid of an old mask and 'Pureblood' Rachel Nichols is a torturous one that, coupled with Conan's plan to avenge Perlman's murder, makes for a plot more swollen than its leading man's pectorals.
Momoa is no Arnie. He's no Rock either. In fact he's nothing much at all: an anonymous, characterless hunk who's outclassed even by the computer-generated sand mummies he's called upon to vanquish.
Conan, we're informed, has "the heart of a lion" and "the loyalty of a bloodhound". They forgot "personality of a tree".
If swords, sorcery, pecs and FX get your bloodlust pumping, there's fleeting fun to be had. But mostly this Conan re-tread puts the bore in Hyboria.
On a plus side it's still far better than Conan The Destroyer and Red Sonja.
See if you like.....
The Mummy Trilogy.
The Scorpion King.
Beast Master.
Masters of the Universe.
Prince of Persia.

3 of 4 people found this review helpful. Did you?   Yes |  No |  Report abuse