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Product Reviews

Reviewer:
ZombieNosh
Reviews:
0
Votes:
22 (64% helpful)

Page 1 of 0

  1.  ANYONE FOR A BLOODBATH ?

    Posted: 

    Welcome horror fans to the latest edition of Zombie's - Review, today's movie is "THE DESCENT". From British director Neil Marshall, it's his follow up movie to the totally Bonkers "Dog Soldiers" and it's a Beauty. This time he's working with a much bigger budget and it's been used to great effect. The locations look great, the all female cast look great (babes), and the creature's look truly beautiful - OOPS - I mean horrendous. To briefly touch upon the story, you get a group of friends who embark on a Caving expedition, and encounter a truly horrific race of creature's living below the surface. What entails is a "Survival Horror" where it's "Babes versus Brute's" in all it's gory glory. OH did I forget to mention the "GORE". There's a hell of a lot of it! Blood spurts, Necks snap, Bones pert-rude, Throats are ripped out and Scaffold tubes are smashed through faces, that's right - there's plenty of Claret being splashed about the place. These ladies certainly "DON'T" get an easy ride. This one comes highly recommended from Zombie-Nosh. Buy it now and get ready for 96 minutes of JIBLET CHEWING, BLADDER BURSTING, KIDNEY CRUNCHING, STOMACHE MUNCHING terror of the highest order. You'll never wanna go under-ground after seeing this one - GET IT !!!!!

  2.  HI I'M CHUCKY - WANNA PLAY!!!!!!!

    Posted: 

    Hello fright fans, here we have another "Classic" unconventional Horror/Slasher movie. Unconventional and also controversial due to the chosen subject matter. Namely a "Killer Good Guy Doll" who go's by the name of "Chucky" who's likes to indulge in the murder and torture of men women and children. It's notoriety hit it's peak with intense media coverage. To the average casual viewer it's just a killer doll on the rampage "blahh blahhh blahhh", but for the smarter viewer there's lots to enjoy. For example you get a deranged serial killer trapped inside a doll's body which alone provides plenty of wicked humour. Chucky's Plastic Body is brought to life with frightening realism and when he speaks it's always colorful. That's right, a children's toy that spews profanities so nasty, he gave parents all over the world nightmares when he made his debut on our screens in 1988. He's the scariest piece of plastic you'll ever see, he slices - dices - cuts - slits - carves and suffocates - i think you get the drift by now. Zombie says for this one -If you wanna see a Child's Toy swearing, torturing and killing people, you've come to the right place, say hello to "CHUCKY" the psycho doll, embrace his cuteness, his wickedness, but "DON'T LET YOUR KIDS WATCH IT".

  3.  50% 0FF ALL SHAVES !

    Posted: 

    Here we are presented with one of Horror's finest Mass Murderer's - "Mr. Freddy Kruger". Wes Craven in-visioned a truly Menacing Psychopath when the "light bulb pinged" for Freddy's creation, and the legacy that followed was truly impressive. The look is perfect, old dirty hat, symbolic red and green striped sweater, 100% Burn Damage and the Iconic "Razor Glove". Not only was a truly original "Bad Guy" born but also a completely original script unlike anything before it. Fall asleep and you get a personal visit from old "CRISPY FACE" himself. He's sliced more "Guts than your local butcher" and "Bled more throats than your nearest Abattoir", all with a sinister smile and usually a ridiculous one liner. Played superbly by Robert Englund he's the Horror Legend that's done it all. With a perfect blend of terror and slaughter this collection of movies should keep all Horror fans content for some time. Zombie recommends Freddy as your number 1 guest if your having a barbecue, you gotta see him slicing those bloody steaks and the heat never seems to bother him, but remember to stay awake or you could end up sizzling as the main course sliced into tiny pieces. (Never fall asleep or he'll come and get ya! Hope you don't get nightmares).

  4.  IT'S BARBECUE TIME!!

    Posted: 

    As horror films go this one is a little unconventional. Even though throughout it's running time there's plenty of blood, gore and death, not at any point do you ever feel scared. It's totally toungue in cheek horror that raises lots of laughs - you just gotta see the "big squeeze death" - you'll laugh so much your eyeballs will explode. "Horror Hall Of Famer" Robert (Freddy) Englund hams it up suitably as the town mayor in charge of this crazy bunch of freaks and as always he's a pleasure to observe.It's lean 84 minutes passes very quickly and enjoyably for what is at heart a trashy low budget splatter-fest. It has all the ingredients for a fun watch just don't go expecting a fear packed horror classic. Zombie's guidlines for this one are as follows - get 6 pints of BEER chilled ready, drink 3 - insert the disc - press play - drink remaining 3 cold BREWSKI'S until your "Horror Loving Intestines" explode from laughter.(then obviously get yourself down to A+E as soon as possible).enjoy.

  5.  I NEED A SLASH!

    Posted: 

    Welcome Slasher fans to the movie that started it all. Back in the 80's this "LOW-BUDGET-BLOODBATH" carved a new kind of Fear into the minds of cinema goers when it was released to an unprepared public. With it's crazy sound (ch,ch,ch,ch,ch) and some of the goriest deaths of the decade, many viewers were left with some serious Gravy stains in their underwear, and fingers that were chewn down to bloody stumps. This was due mainly to a clever use of fear through tension in the hellacious build-up to each kill, at times it's almost unbearable and for a movie that's almost 30 years old it holds it's own against all-comers, even now. Watch this movie and witness the birth of a true "Horror Icon" MR. JASON VORHEES, the retarded Freak-Bag who took a severe beating with the Ugly Stick upon birth and now stalks anyone who is slightly better looking than he is. Zombie-Nosh advises for this one - get some thick anti-chew gloves and say hello to the master of the Slashers, J.V. - and remember - if your ugly your safe - but if your pretty - your dead!

  6.  Head On A Stick Mate!

    Posted: 

    Gooday Mate.This film reminded me a little of the original Texas Chainsaw, both in it's grainy look and the long lingering camera shots. It also shares 3 common traits with Tobe Hooper's movie - Twisted,Tension,Terror.Okay so the first half of the movie is mainly focused on character study but when old MICK TAYLOR turns up you just gotta dig deep, clench your buttocks as tightly as possible and get ready to meet a seriously twisted madman. He's not bothered if your male or female, young or old - to him it's just another carcass to have some fun with. John Jarratt potrays "MICK" excellently, (worryingly almost too well), ensuring him a place in "Horror's Hall Of Fame"- Crocodile Dundee he ain't . Overall it's an above average chiller that builds slowly, but is more than capable of giving you a severe bout of the "WILLIES" thanks mainly to some excellent camera work and a star turn performance from an AUSSIE OUTTA CONTROL. Zombie's Verdict - GET IT in before he hunts you down!

  7.  WELL HELLO LEATHER-FACE!

    Posted: 

    Get ready to fill your undercrackers film fans. This is a history lesson in pure terror you'll never forget. It's the kill-fest that started it all.The movie revolves around a twisted family of freaks who like to indulge in the odd spot of murder,torture and cannibalism. This is where Leatherface was born, the V.I.P. member of the family who loves his chainsaw just as much as his mamma. Teens get sliced, diced and FRESH halloween masks are always in mass production. Tobe Hooper brought a new kind of PAIN to cinema goers with his twisted vision (based on true events) of a
    "Good Time Gone Bad". He manages to create unbearable Fear and tension without resorting to over the top blood and guts. It may not be a stereotype horror of todays standards but for Vomit Inducing,Pile Bursting tension you've come to the right place my friends. In all it's Grainy glory this is the Daddy of them all,embrace Leather-Face,for he is the original video nasty. Zombie says get a triple pack of underwear,turn off the lights and be prepared for an awesome terro-fest.BZZZZZZZZZZZ.

  8.  GIMME SOME SUGAR BABY !

    Posted: 

    The quick review - AMAZING FILMS - GET EM! Okay now for the explanation. Directed by Sam "Mr Spiderman" Raimi and starring the totally awesome yet completley insane Mr Bruce Campbell these films are cherished by all horror collectors. The reason for this being the perfect balance of humour and horror, e.g. Campbell screaming "WHO'S LAUGHING NOW" while chainsawing through his own hand. INSANE - yes, FUNNY - oh hell yes. With such a talented director behind the lens and an iconic legend performing in front of it there was only ever going to be one outcome for these movies - CULT CLASSICS. This was SAM and BRUCE at the Pinacle of their careers. Trust the ZOMBIE on this one - your life let alone your dvd collection will never be complete until you own these movies - GET EM NOW!

  9.  BETTER THAN YOU EXPECT

    Posted: 

    THIS IS A GREAT HILLBILLY MOVIE - that's packed full of tension and a fair number of gruesome scenes - (such as the splitting headache death).This is a horror movie that is much better than you would expect, having been released in cinemas almost unoticed. It's a pleasant suprise for horror fans of old who like their gore extra grizzly and their body parts well chopped - it's got plenty of both! You know your in good hands when the production team has got STAN WINSTON on board for creature effects (creator of terminator,predator,alien etc.) and he doesn't dissapoint with some seriously ugly mountain men, i mean these guys are really butt ugly. Overall it's a cracking little gore-fest that came out of nowhere and suprised many. Listen to Zombie Nosh "AND GET IT IN !"

  10.  BEST WEREWOLF MOVIE OF ALL TIME !!!!!

    Posted: 

    No beating about the bush - lets just get it out in the open -" THIS IS THE BEST WEREWOLF MOVIE THERE IS ". At almost three decades old this stays at the top of the pile thanks to it's mix of dark humour and horror, and the outrageous transformation scene which still hasn't been bettered in todays day and age. It's director John Landis in his prime and for this he will always be remembered as "A MASTER OF HORROR ". A True Cult Classic! Get it Now!