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Arousal is one of many books that attempts to unlock the `secret' behind our deepest, and most private thoughts, desires and fantasies in an accessible format that will suit therapists, individuals, couples and lay people interested in the subject . Why are fantasies such a taboo subject that makes us blush just to even think about them? Why have societal views over the centuries driven what was once a normal, accepted manner of passionate interaction between lovers into a contemptible abnormality? Private desires have been turned into a frenzy of punitive perversions that have caused significant damage to people's development of their own self identity, but also to how they relate to each other from a deep sense of shame, guilt and helplessness about what are essentially natural and normal desires. Dr Bader takes the reader gently through our own rationales and questions about why we feel and think in certain ways about love and sex, and emphasises that not only is what we feel normal and healthy, but that it is vital for our `psychological safety'. Arousal is peppered with vignettes from Dr Bader's work, which enables the reader to access real life case studies about normal, everyday people with sometimes extraordinary fantasies - and takes the reader through the journey of a fantasy and how it takes form from an innocent thought to a potentially maleficent entity if it gets out of hand. A highly recommended and accessible text that enables the reader to understand why guilt, shame and anxiety play such a large part in the breakdown of intimacy in relationships, and why, perhaps, society is turning ever readily to the rapid influx of porn thus adding to the damage being caused to that most precious thing, Love. This texts gives an insight into why we feel what we feel, and it allows the reader to accept what they feel is on the whole normal (Dr Bader makes the distinction between private fantasies between consenting adults, and those that are unacceptable where harm to another is concerned). Finally a refreshing text that gives credit to a pioneer in the field of sexual fantasies and growth, Nancy Friday.
Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway
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We experience fear every day of our lives, be it through worry or concern over the smallest thing to the biggest. People are paralysed by fear to the point of not only becoming static within their lives, but in some case even regressing to what they feel are 'safety zones' - that of no longer living but barely existing hour to hour, day to day. People no longer taking risks, no longer trying, no longer even caring. Feel the Fear was a book I bought many years ago whilst a student on a Counselling course - I remember scanning it quickly. However, after years of recommending it to almost everyone I came across, I thought, let me really read it. This was last year, 2008. I am glad I did, as Dr Jeffers candidly once again invited me to travel with her through the pages of the book on her journey through sometimes funny, sometimes quirky but mostly powerful, real life issues. She shows how after years of living a mediocre life, yet knowing there WAS more out there, she embarked on taking full an complete contol of her life and challenging, sometimes gentle, sometimes directly, all the significant people in her life. She shows how she slowly regained control of her life and began to reduce her anxiety and fear - tackling those periods of being frozen by fear, to feeling every last bit of it and doing what her heart called her to do! Dr Jeffers went from being a housewife taken pretty much for granted by her family, to the DR Jeffers who has sold millions of copies of her book that has helped so very many people. It is people like her who through their courage and strength, help us to become all that we are capable of becoming. This is an excellent book, easily written and accessible to academics and non academics alike. There is a life out there, grab it with both hands and LIVE. Feel the Fear, AND DO. IT. ANYWAY. God Bless.
The Five Love Languages
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The 5 Love Languages was given to me as a gift for me to use as part of my work as a therapist. I read it in a few days and found it enlightening, easy to delve into, informative and simply a refreshing joy to read about the most important subject in human history: Love. The book is not littered with academic jargon, nor does it leave the reader bemused, what it allows, is a gentle, slow paced journey into a complex and difficult subject often avoided by many because of its very nature. Some reviewers have commented on the religious aspect of the book, however this should not detract anyone who wants to improve their relationship and love with their partner from reading this book. I personally learned more about myself and how I relate to people on an emotionally intimate level, and picked up a few tips to add to my interactions with the most important person in my world! It allows one to reflect AND learn from past interactions and perhaps correct our own errors, and if we are open, enables us to NOT repeat past mistakes but to learn, grow from them and enrich our current (and hopefully lasting!) relationship. Dr Chapman uses an easy to follow, non-judgemental writing style, presenting the information in a clear and concise manner punctuated with caveats from real client-work allowing the reader to readily identify with issues that may have cropped up in their own relationships. I have personally read this book twice within a month and found more new meanings and new perceptions - I highly recommend this series of books to anyone wanting to grow deeper in love with their beloved, for people who want to understand previous relationships and for anyone struggling with communicational issues in their current relationship. I would have loved to see more interactive exercises at the end of each chapter to reinforce learning and to encourage deeper reflection. However, this book actually makes a beautiful gift to share with your lover, and is an incredibly powerful tool in opening up your relationship to so many wondrous possibilities. Buy a couple of copies, give one to your beloved, read them earnestly, share your thoughts with each other and together, create the fairytale relationship you have spent your whole lives dreaming of! I have recommended this book to scores of clients and I very rarely put MY reputation on the line! This book is a beautiful partner for another Dr Chapman classic entitled Making Love. Here's to love and all that have ever experienced that euphoric blessing, and to those yet to encounter it! Be blessed.
Five Love Languages
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Sony Ericsson HPM-83 Stereo Portable Handsfree
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Firstly, I am not a technical person at all, and when my w910i earphones failed (I couldn't answer calls hands free as the callers got horrendous crackling and no sound) - I couldn't get a replacement pair, so I opted for this product instead in the desperate hope that a) they fitted my phone and b) they worked... simple requests!! I was not only amazed at the speedy delivery (Thank You yet again Play!!) but at the quality of these headphones. No longer do I have to suffer sore ears and losing the little plastic things (told you I wasn't technical!!) from the in-ear phones... I wholeheartedly recommend these to one and all! The construction is super light weight and robust - I can wear my sunglasses under the wraparound headset and its pretty comfortable. The silver is so shiny that it can act as an emergency alerting divice by glinting to any passing satellites.... Its beautiful and quite classy! The sound quality is fantastic, crispy and crystal clear - external noise is reduced to a minimum - so much so that you can quite easy forget you're singing along to Macy Gray quite loudly in the middle of an aisle in the local supermarket... much to the amusement of shoppers and assistants alike - and why not!! Oh and they keep your ears warm! It is snowing as I write this whilst listening to the divine Ms Tina Turner - what more can a girl ask or? Enjoy, you won't be disappointed! And if you are...... that's ok too. That's why God gave us choices. Happy listening folks.